I hadn’t seen this one yet.
Yep, it’s kind of like crack. :)
I check my blog stats once in awhile to see where hits are coming from. The most popular thing I’ve written on here is still the HK. Because you suck. And we hate you mega rant. That thing makes the rounds across all sorts of boards. It has showed up on every gun board, car boards, video game boards, and even the Scented Candle Emporium & Teddy Bear Hospital forum.
I follow these links back, and reading the HK Fanboy hate that is expressed is always priceless. Let me give you an example of one that I just read:
Some dude named Zissky states that “it isn’t an accident that the extreme vast majority of both military and LE agencies around the world choose HK over all others”
HA HA HA Snort! You’ve got to be friggin’ kidding me. Okay, maybe back in the glory days of us using 9mm subguns and MP5s, but now? Okay, how many PDs carry HK? How many carry Glock? I’m not a Glock fan by any stretch of the imagination, but they own the domestic LE market. Since the “extreme vast majority” uses HK, and last I checked, Glock owns the market, I’m having a hard time figuring that one out.
Military? Okay, you’ve got… Germany, obviously. Spain, because you know, they do a lot of fighting. (blow up a subway and the whole country surrenders). And… Lithuania? Seriously, I do believe Lith SF uses a G36, or at least they had them in Afghanistan while our local SF group was deployed there. Then there are a handful of other countries that have been conned by the conniving Tutons into buying the melty rifle. Which is pretty sad, because a couple decades ago they managed to trick like 50 countries into buying the G3 (and most of them found themselves wishing they had gone with the FAL, but didn’t want to deal with those uppity Belgians)
There are a handful of people that do this stuff for a living that choose HK. Good for them. Most of the professional firearms instructors I know carry A. What their department mandates. B. Glock. C. A 1911 variant. Or D. Everything else. And D is made up of a lot of stuff, and in the years that I’ve been in the gun business, I’ve known a couple of professionals that chose the HK pistol. And usually they’re blessed with the Germanic 4th Knuckle Master Grip that allows them to shoot the damn thing and its horrible trigger.
I suppose “The Extreme Vast Majority” of LE and military refers to people playing Rainbow Six. Or he heard it on Future Weapons, so it must be real.
But this is the stuff that I enjoy. “the article was pure comedy, btw the guy has no penis or the money to afford a proper weapon and will probably be settling for his SW auto and his SKS but that’s for another thread”
Okay, random internet guy, let me address your concerns. Yes, the article was comedy. It made me laugh writing it. Next, I do in fact have a penis. I’m rather proud of it. And no, this is not the kind of site where I will post pictures of it for you.
As for the money to afford a proper weapon, I own a… wait for it… MACHINE GUN STORE. I have a couple of guns. Since I post under my own name, anybody can drop by my shop (which actually exists in Draper, Utah, on Earth, and not just on the internet) and see the HK machine guns that we own. (I know, critiquing something that you actually have experience with, rather than taking Future Weapons at its word? Shocking)
That kind of post always makes me laugh. Anytime a rabid fanboy reads a criticism of their chosen (overpriced) brand, then obviously the person doing the criticism must be poor. It’s kind of like that one douchebag that asked “what is your life worth” because if you didn’t carry an HK, then it wasn’t worth much. Your life is worth what it costs me to hire a crack head to kill you. Period. Just because you suck with money, and make poor purchasing decisions, and feel the need to blow $800-$1000 on a polymer handgun with poor ergonomics and a horrible trigger, or $1600+ on a neutered 10 shot rifle with a thumbhole stock, doesn’t make you a bad ass gunslinger.
Rabid fanboys (not limited to just HK, but occurring with all brands, across all spectrums of the universe, from cars to blenders) always assume that the person they’re talking to is ignorant. I’m willing to go out on a limb and bet that I’ve shot more rounds through HK weapons that your average HK fanboy. (unless you count the rounds fired while playing Call Of Duty 4, because then they’ve probably got me beat pretty handily, but I’m talking about actual bullets, from a real gun).
As for the SW auto or the SKS, why yes, I would actually take a new production SW 1911 or M&P over a USP any day of the week. But what do I know? I actually shoot guns, rather than just talk about them on the internet. As for the SKS, people that actually know how to shoot don’t make fun of them. When you aren’t hanging a bunch of cheap plastic garbage and faulty 30 round mags off of them, they actually work well, have a better trigger and usually shoot a better group than a G3.
Only I can buy 2 dozen decent SKS rifles for the price of a single original G3 and arm an entire Girl Scout troop. But darn it, then I couldn’t brag on the internet about how super awesome my gun is because it was expensive, and built in Germany. Which is ironic, since a couple of days ago, I posted a picture of myself with an MG3… But then again, what do I know? I’m just jealous of your fancy HK.