FBMG’s gunsmith starts his own blog

My smith, Joe, has started a blog.  http://gundoctor.wordpress.com/

Darth Vader attacks Jedi Church of England


Okay then… I like the part about how he drank a 2 and 1/2 gallon box of wine beforehand, therefore doesn’t really remember the attack. 

CZ Group Buy update

I’ve been swamped doing quotes.  Like I said, if you like the prices, tell your friends, and many of you have.  If you don’t hear from me for a couple of days after you e-mail, don’t worry, I’ll get to you.

And to answer the common questions, I’ll be doing this all month.  Every time I get 3 of either long guns or pistols, I place an order. 

I can let the cat out of the bag, Unnamed Big Publisher is…


Monster Hunter International is going to be published by Baen in 2009. 

This week in the news

In world news, everybody is just SHOCKED, shocked I tell you, to discover that the government of a 3rd world nation isn’t necessarily good for its people.  If I hear one more UN snot-rag or mainstream media pundit pontificate about how SHOCKING it is that the leadership of Mynamar/Burma isn’t being nice to the homeless and suffering, I’m going to puke. 


Didn’t they catch the recent “documentary film” Rambo IV?  Remember when the same punditry was talking about how uncivilized and racist Rambo was because it portrayed the government of Burma as a bunch of raping, pillaging, scum bags?  Yep.  Same folks.    


In national news, looks like Obama’s got the donkey party nomination all sewed up.  So now our choice comes down to a conservative democrat versus a communist.  Yay.


Not that communists ever have anything but the people’s very best interests at heart of course.  Like Barack Obama.  He’s a Marxist through and through.  And I’m sure he’ll turn out to be as great a leader as every other Marxist turd that has ever managed to get elected anywhere. 


And now somebody will get offended because I dared to call their darling Barack a Marxist.  Well, let’s see… What does he actually stand for?  Besides hope and change, or hoping for change, or changing for hope, or whatever line of bullshit people too lazy to exercise any critical thinking are falling for today.  He wants the government to control EVERYTHING.  Last time I checked, that was pretty much how Marxism worked.  Everything else is semantics. 


He wants to punish companies that make too much profit.  Explain how that works in a free nation, because I personally would love to buy stock in an industry that isn’t allowed to make money.  (because that 8% the oil companies made is just crazy talk).  He wants the government to control your health, your life, your property, your decisions, your morality, and your choices, all for the greater good, because you’re too friggin’ stupid to do it on your own.


His wife doesn’t think its fair that she had to pay to go to her Ivy League universities… Yes, fair.  It’s not fair that she was making six figures a year and having to pay back student loans.  See, the tax payers should have done that for her.


I’m sick of the media telling us that the reason that any white person wouldn’t vote for Barack is because of race, not because he’s a socialist, and the idea of turning control of the executive branch over to him terrifies us.  Can’t be that.  Has to be racism.  Whereas 90+% of black people voting for Barack isn’t racist at all.  That’s changing for hope… or something.


Babies are a punishment.  So hey, let’s have tax-payer funded abortion on demand!  It would be too damn simple to give his kids a pack of Trojans and leave the rest of us the hell alone.


He’s clueless on foreign policy, and sitting down with Hugo, Lil’ Kim, and Ahmohommedinjihad or whatever the hell his name is, won’t give these guys greater stature and standing in the world at all.  No… vote for Hope and Change, and all the bad people out there in the world who want to screw with America will suddenly be all peaceful and full of love and joy.  


Deep breath… Man, I hate that guy. 


On the other hand, McCain is a joke.  The best the Republican party could come up with is basically a democrat.  Our main strategy for winning this election is that Barack will be too crazy for the democrats and independents that aren’t mentally ill, and they’ll vote for McCain.  That’s one hell of a plan. 


McCain is proud of the fact that he “reaches across the aisle” and “brings people together”.  Listen, John, we really don’t want to be brought together with Kennedy or Feingold.  We want them to GO AWAY and quit destroying our country.


McCain has made a couple of speeches lately to try to placate us conservatives (Conservative, defined as some archaic person who doesn’t believe the government makes everything better).  Time will tell if he means this stuff, or he’s just trying to throw us a bone.  Personally, I’m going to support him, but only because the other option is totally nuts.  As MadOgre says, I support McCain, and I don’t like it one bit.


In local news, a local Utah police chief shot himself in the leg while teaching a CCW class, once again proving that only law enforcement is professional enough to handle dangerous firearms.  As a rule of thumb, if you’re using your carry gun as a demo gun for a class, you’re a moron.  The carry gun should be PUT AWAY.  And then if you manage to shoot yourself in the ankle with said gun, that demonstrates that you didn’t pay any attention to the Four Rules of gun safety lecture that you were required to give at the very first part of class.  Way to go, Chief. 

Words that aren’t really words, but should be

I was having this discussion with my lovely wife the other night.  I use certain words that aren’t actually in the English language all of the time.  These words are so good, so useful, that they should be, so I’m officially adding them.

ORIENTATE:  Or – Ee- En – tate  Most regular people would just say that they oriented themselves, but I grew up in a Portagee household, so we like to stick extra letters into our words.  i.e.  I need to orientate where the hell I’m at.    EDIT:  As was just pointed out in the comments below, this is actually a real word, appearing in a real dictionary.  Ha!  I can’t wait to tell my wife that I do know what I’m talking about.

FAGGOTRY:  Fag – Ot – Tree  Use this one when you see something that is particularly gay.  i.e.  Ethanol subsidies!  What manner of faggotry is this?   Edit:  Before I get angry e-mails, I’m not even meaning this as gay bashing or anythiing of that nature.  You use this word for things that are so gay that Carson from Queer Eye would look at it and say, “damn, that is some gay stuff, right there.” 

MANGELATE:  Mane- gull – ate   Similar to mangle, but rather than saying that somebody got mangled, you can say that they got mangelated.  I like to use this one whenever I watch somebody get thier ass handed to them in an especially brutal manner.  i.e. Larry Correia mangelates the English Language. 

ASSMUPPET:  Ass – Mup – Et  Somebody who is particularly annoying, stupid, and obnoxious.  Similar to the root word of ASSCLOWN.  I first heard this from Mad Ogre like 7 years ago, and immediatly adopted it into regular conversation.  i.e. Barack Obama is an assmuppet.

It’s fun to make up your own vocabulary.   Most people of Portuguese ancestory tend to do this.  Basically everything that you need to know about Azorean-American grammar can be learned from the following actual sentence.   Throw the cow over the fence some hay.   Please, keep that in mind when you read this blog and see where I totally screwed up.  You guys are lucky that I’m even literate.   

Also, we like to use nouns as verbs.  You don’t sweep the floor.  You broom the floor.  You don’t dig, you shovel.  (also, the shovel is the Portagee martial arts weapon.  The average 300 pound Terceirian dairy-farmer can take down a 2,000 pound Holstein bull with a shovel, and not even lose any of his Copenhagen in the process) 

The remarkable thing is that, despite the fact that my grammar blows, I’m actually paid to write stuff.  Thank goodness for good editors.  I learned more rules of English by having Pax edit my first novel and yell at me for mangelating every rule of grammar, than I ever learned in school. 

So those are your vocabulary words for the day.  Use them to impress people at the appropriate times, like in job interviews. 

The Great CZ Group Buy II

We did a CZ group buy a couple of months ago and it was a huge success. I’ve been getting a ton of e-mails from people that missed out, so I’m going to go ahead and do another one.

This is how it is going to work. Look at www.czusa.com Pick out which models you are interested in, and then send me an e-mail at larry@fbmginc.com and I will respond with a quote. The prices will be excellent. Anybody that ordered CZs from me last time knows what I’m talking about. These will be the best prices on CZ that you will find.

This applies to rifles, shotguns, pistols, and Dan Wesson guns too. There was a 5% increase from CZ last month because of the exchange rate, and that did change the price of some of the imported guns. So if I provided you a quote on the last buy, those prices may have changed.

I will be ordering guns continuously during the month. (basically everytime I’ve got 3 long guns or 3 hand guns I don’t have to pay shipping).

Shipping times from CZ to me will vary on gun to gun. Guns that are in stock at CZ will ship quickly. Anything that isn’t in the country may take longer. I can’t really give ETAs. Of the 34 guns ordered on the February CZ group buy, I delivered 25 within a month, then a few over the next month, and I’m still waiting for the last 2 that are on back order. (452 .22 Mag and CZ85 Combat).

Please spread the word and tell your friends.

Edit:  If you’re getting the model off the CZ webpage, please send me the SKU number.  That makes looking up prices a whole lot faster and more specific.