So Monster Hunter Nation got its one millionth hit this weekend sometime. That’s a pretty cool milestone. Either, one million people have been here, or one of you has opened this page a million times, or some combo inbetween.

How does this make me feel?  Well, if I could paint you a picture, it would look something like this:

How about Conan punching a tyranosaurs in the face while Linnea Quigley (like she looked in the 80s) fights a hot zombie chick with a chainsaw, and Linnea is in a tank top that is all ripped and about to fall off, and they’re on top of a speeding monster truck painted in tiger stripes playing a sound track by Dokken, and the monster truck is jumping over a tank that is exploding and there are ninjas flying everywhere on bullet bikes while pterodactyls shooting laser beams out of their eyes cause a big explosion with a massive fireball and then there’s like tigers with wings shooting out of the ground and theres like this skeleton, but the skeleton is wearing a chainmail bikini so you know that it was like totally a hot chick once too, but then like there’s this dude who looks like a samurai, but he’s fighting a cowboy, and blocking the cowboy’s bullets with his katana, because it is a LASER KATANA!  But then the samurai is totally Chow Yun Fat and the cowboy is Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bullets in mid air to make them go faster, and there should be lightning bolts coming out of the sky, and then have like a big laughing skull behind it all, and the skull should totally be Hitler! because then you know he’s the badguy, and he should have that little mustache, and Conan and Chuck Norris are all going to totally kick his ass. And make the pterodactyls red, and put like a hammer and sickle on them, so you know they’re totally evil communist dinosaur clones, and make the monster truck be shooting blue flames out the back from all the nitro and the big tires should have spikes, and like nazi zombies are totally trapped in the spikes! And then have more hot chicks on the side, only make one like a devil with a tail and a pitchfork, and then the other side the hot chick should be an angel, but make her look a little naughty, if you know what I mean. Then make it in 3D! So that everything jumps out at you, and add more explosions, so you’re all like WOOSH KaBLAAAM PoW! POW! POW!

That was a response I posted on a long time ago for ideas for a tough picture. But I feel it sums up my feelings about having a million hits on my blog.

21 Responses

  1. I want this picture.

  2. Your “Epic Level” is reaching proportions of epic epicness. NYT Bestselling Author and 1000000 hits?

  3. Sorry, Larry. For once, you lost me right away.

    I can’t get the image of a 6′ 6″ man with 3-inch tall flaming red hair and a skinny tie punching a Tyrannosaurus then doing the string dance.

    Wait… What?

    Oh! THAT Conan…


  4. Larry, congratulations! You know why you got a million hits and a boatload of books sold? ‘Cause you are still the same guy that was looking for a publisher and nobody wanted to even look at your work. The guy that still treats his readers like buddies and feel humbled we care about you.
    Not long ago you replied to a post of mine in FaceBook and a friend of mine was amazed that you did so. No ego, no distance, no ivory tower, just Larry, a shooter.
    God Bless Brother.

  5. Heck of a week! NYT #27 and the big million hits, congrats!

  6. Larry, did you sprinkle some extra sugar on your Fruit Loops this morning? In that bowl of cereal instead of milk did you pour in a Red Bull? After downing the bowl did you then slam a six pack of Jolt cola?

    Just asking. ;-D

    Actually I think it’s awesome that you’ve had over ONE MILLION HITS! I got excited when I reached over 20,000. Then I kinda got sad when I realized that a few thousand of those must have been spam bots, probably sent out by a troll. *snicker*

  7. So we’re talking the ‘Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama’ Quigley, rather than the later ‘Heavy Petting Detective’ Quigley? Awesome.

    But then what is it going to feel like when you get to one billion hits?

  8. Hmmm this seems a little mellow

  9. That description was priceless, Larry! Priceless. Well done.

  10. Congrats Larry! We’re proud of you!

  11. I think you need more hot chicks and some nuclear explosions in the picture.

    always at least one nit-picker

  12. Sounds pretty cool, except for using Dokken as the soundtrack. I’d prefer something more modern, or at least darker and heavier. Metallica, if nothing else…

  13. I’m just waiting to hear someone ask for that as a tattoo.

  14. Hope your baby doesn’t get taken away for posting link affiliation to we the armed.. This guy got his baby taken away for affiliation with Oath Keepers:

    Congrats on 1m!!

  15. I probably account for at least a couple metric fracktons of ’em myself–MHN is one of the first things I check every logon.

  16. I hold here, in my hands, the copy of “Monster Hunter Vendetta” which I bought at the Books-a-Million a few hours ago. I am just now starting to get past the preview samples. Of course I also bought the first book. I can do no less for a fellow High Road denizen. (I am Orthonym there)

  17. Wow! I just realized that I have bought a coupla books each, from guys who belong to the same Web Forum I do, and have corresponded with them as equals, and all! (The other guy was Michael Z. Williamson. Don’t let him work on yer HVAC unless you’re quite certain you are on his good side.)

  18. Dude. You have access to an artist. A really good artist. Please tell me you’ve got him working on this right now. Picture? Hell, this would make a killer tattoo!


  19. Congratulations Larry!

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